My nipple is on Facebook.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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