next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
