I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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