I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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