I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
