This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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