We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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