I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
