you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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