I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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