hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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