to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
