Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize