we're chasing vodka with high fives
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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