my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
