She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
