Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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