Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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