So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
