Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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