he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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