And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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