That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
