I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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