Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.

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(912): View more from Georgia

Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.

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(425): View more from Washington

If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

On my way to the DMV to get arrested

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake

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(208): View more from Idaho

This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...

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(270): View more from Kentucky

How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?

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(815): View more from Illinois

Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life

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