So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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