Apparently you make a good broom.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
