Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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