'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
