remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize