it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
