can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
