Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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