in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
