you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
