the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
All I want is dick and wine.
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