i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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