Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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