He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
