people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
