You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We talked him into tasing himself.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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