he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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