You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We got so high we made milksteak
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
dude. I can hear the air.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
