I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he puts the penis in happiness.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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