If you die in college, do you die in real life?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
