No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
