i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
