Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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