This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
