I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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