plz talk dirty to me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
