I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
