I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
