Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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