I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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