i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
