...so i touched it.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
