If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
