I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
