please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
MIDGETS
????
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
