ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
All the doctor said was why
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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