why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Randomize
