How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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