I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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