i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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