I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
