I didn't shave. On purpose
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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