New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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