well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
