How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
