Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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